I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize