This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize