My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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