we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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