Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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