Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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