he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize