There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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