I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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