I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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