Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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