Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize