Are we in a gay sports bar?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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