Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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