i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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