Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize