Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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