In the future we'll all be gay
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize