I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize