can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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