And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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