My nipple is on Facebook.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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