We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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