i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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