I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you would pick up someone in the library
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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