you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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