At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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