i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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