He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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