i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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