I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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