He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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