I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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