READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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