I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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