There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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