i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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