Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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