lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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