I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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