Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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