god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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