hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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