also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize