Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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