ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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