If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize