We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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