His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize