Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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